Dear kiddo's,
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to write today. I feel drawn here, led here, I have to be here. I'm staring at this open space wanting to fill it with words that will tell you something good and something profound, but I'm not sure where or what they are. I just know I'm supposed to write.
As I'm sure you've gathered by now, your momma loves words, specifically the weaving together of my own. I've recorded many things over the years. Poems, stories, devotions, journals, blogs for my Dad and a couple other short-lived blogs as well, and of course, letters to your father and to you.
Dana, you have been talking a lot lately about your "gifts" and trying to figure out what they might be, and this here putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, as it were) happens to be one of mine. I know you probably thought my gifts were talking at you, or being crazy punctual, or giving Jones his bottle while simultaneously doing the laundry, confirming a doctor's appointment, and reviewing your spelling words, but I'd have to say that I feel more confident in my writing ability than in most other things I do. Some people can sing, some people have wisdom for days, some people can speak eloquently to the masses, some people can throw together a spectacular dinner party for 20 people in less than an hour. Me? I can string together words in visual form that adequately express my feelings. I take no credit for being able to do this, am certainly not the best at it, but I love being able to do it and feel blessed when I have the opportunities (and the time!) to lose myself in this outlet.
However, as often is the case in life, along with ability comes responsibility. On most days I still feel as if I am not exactly sure what God has in store for me and my words, but lately I feel as if I'm getting closer to figuring it out. In the last year or so I have come to recognize that the only time I feel truly satisfied with my writing is when I am putting down words that matter, words that could potentially have eternal significance, and most importantly words that glorify God. I have realized that I want to see my words again in heaven someday, with Jesus being the keeper of them all, smiling at me and telling me that I have done well with the talents He has given me.
Which is what prompted me to start this type of blog as opposed to one that's more humorous, or one that is more focused on our day-to-day life, or one about cooking and crafting (Ha! I know, right? Turns out I'm funny, too!). When you come here I want you to be able to find not only a fuller picture of who your mom is, but also tangible evidence of how I am using the gift God has given me to honor Him. Because at the end of the day, that's all that matters. It's not the funny blurbs I post online about you (you're funny, too!) and it's not the pictures of our family followed by a light-hearted description of what we were doing that day. While I fully enjoy posting these kinds of things as well, I know that it's my words written that point people, especially all of you (my other gifts and responsibilities), to Jesus that will be the ones that count in the end.
On that note, I'm so excited to find out what gifts you will have at your own disposal. I can see already that Dana, you have magnificent peace-keeping abilities, and inside your chest beats the kindest of all the kind hearts I have ever known. Eliza, your art skills at the tender age of five far surpass anything I have ever done in my whole life, and your combination of strength and sensitivity is made for greatness. Cora, your comedic timing is impeccable, and for being as tiny in stature as you are your sense-of-self is made of solid steel. And Jones, you're still quite young, but if the rhythm you display beating on my pots and pans sticks around you have the potential be a pretty rockin' drummer. And you also have a very winning smile and an easy laugh, so it will be pure joy to see where that takes you. But whatever your gifts turn out to be, my prayer is simply that you use them to love the Lord. They were His gifts to you, and you will be at your happiest and your most fulfilled when you give them back to Him. Out of all the hundreds upon thousands of words I have written, the ones I am most proud of and find the most satisfaction in are the ones that have helped people to see Jesus. The words I treasure the most are the ones that were clearly put by Him into my heart to offer back to Him in obedience. And, I guess as it turns out, words like this letter is shaping up to be. I sat down to write today without knowing why, but in following His lead had His purpose revealed to me in the interim, and I am left here now feeling unbelievably blessed. He's so cool like that.
So press on, my children, and dance, and drum, and serve, and build, and sell, and solve, and discover, and help, and create, and educate, and advocate, and alliterate. :) Just desire to do it all for the glory of the Lord, and then bask in the blessings that follow.
Love,
Momma
