Dear children,
Here it is, the day after Christmas. You three older girls are out and about with Daddy helping him at the farm, "helping" him cut wood, and I'm sure just generally trying his patience like any average 3, 5, and 7 year old would. In a good way, of course. He loves to take you into his life in this way. As you see a little bit now, and will come to learn even more, the out-of-doors is essential to your father's very being. He finds his peace there. He regroups and refreshes in the quiet of the forest and in the needs of the farm. And so he does his best to introduce you to this world, hoping and praying that he can plant seeds in you which will reflect his own appreciation for this most natural part of God's creation. And I hope he can do it too, because goodness knows this is not your momma's specialty. I will read to you outside in the sunshine until the cows come home, but when it comes to literally bringing the cows home, that is not my gift nor is it my passion. To your father's delight, we do already see some of this love for the simplest things rubbing off on you. For instance, Eliza, for Christmas this year you wrapped up some dried up chicken bones you found at the farm and oh-so-proudly gave them to me. I would be lying if I said it wasn't one of my favorite presents of the year, as the smile that accompanied it I intentionally recall daily, trying to burn it into the deepest recesses of my memory. It was a beauty. (Thank you again, sweet Liza, for the old, dried up, bleached-white chicken bones. It is my guess that you will never hear those words again in your lifetime.)
But as I sit here, reflecting on these last few days, I can't help but feel just a little bit unsettled. Everything went as smoothly as it could have gone. The juggling act of parties and church services, the buying and making of dish after dish of holiday food, the unpacking and repacking of diaper bags and backpacks, the finding room for new toys and trying to purge some old ones, all of it found it's proper place and stayed there, not spilling over into any category it wasn't supposed to. Logistically speaking, everything went flawlessly. Aunt Sarah even dressed up Jones like Santa and made it realistic looking enough that Cora bought into it and was nice to him for an hour or so. It was an easy, pleasant, laughter-filled holiday season.
However, I keep coming back to this question of, "Did I do enough?". Did I make this whole season, with it's ribbons and bows and cookies and family and Christmas carols, at the end of the day did I make it really matter?
The only thing I ever wanted these last few week to be about was Jesus. I had grand illusions of fireside chats talking about the very first Christmas and the coming of the King. I wanted to spend hours reading story after story about angels appearing, and shepherds quaking, and evil kings plotting, and the following of a star. I had visions of us imagining together what it would have been like to be there that day, experiencing first-hand the magic of the manger. But somehow, the days slipped by. It seemed that at some point every day I would be struck with words, blindsided while I was driving, or shopping, or doing laundry... words sent down from heaven just to remind me, to bring me back to center. Words like worship... honor... glory... and most often, Immanuel. Immanuel... God with us.... And I would refocus, knowing what, and Who it was that I wanted to bring into your days. But did I bring Him to you? Did I let you really feel what it means to have Him near? Did you ever get the chance to hear, in your heart of hearts, the holy newborn cry of the Christ-child? Or did I let it get overshadowed by the sounds of Christmas?
I tried last night to salvage the few remaining moments of our day by hosting an impromptu birthday party for Jesus. We read the Christmas story, we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, we blew out candles on a chocolate cream pie (which I'm sure is what Jesus had at his birthday party. We try hard here to be authentic). Between dinnertime and the Grinch I tried to sneak just a little bit more of Jesus into your day. But while we were celebrating I was still feeling guilty, knowing that I could have done more. And it was then that I received one last, one very special Christmas gift. Dana, as we were singing Jesus his birthday song, you lifted up your little arms as high as you could into the air, looked straight into heaven, and sang directly to Him while smiling the brightest of smiles. And it was in that moment that I got it. And remembering it now I get it even more. It's not about me forcing Jesus into your days, or pushing Him into your life, or using my own strength to wrap His arms around you. It's about Him coming down and revealing Himself to you. It's about Him being with you. God with you. Immanuel.
So today I pray that I will let myself get out of your way so He can get into it. I will remember that it is not my job to save you, that this is the reason He came that precious day so long ago. I will do my best to point you in His direction. I promise to talk about Him, and show you Him, and let you see my love for Him. And then I will trust in the deepest part of me that He will take you the rest of the way home. Merry Christmas, dear ones. May Christ be with you today and always. And may you get to know and fall madly in love with Immanuel.
Love,
Momma
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
A Day In the Life
Kiddo's,
In an effort to preserve for posterity's sake a small picture of our family life, I thought I would record for you what an average day here in our home looks like. There are always variations on any given day by way of field trips, Friday School, play dates, outings with Grandpa, Bible Study, farming, errands to run, etc., and in trying my hardest to keep your best interests in mind and also take advantage of the flexibility that teaching you at home has to offer, I strive to be adaptable, and free-spirited, and even (dare I say) willy-nilly. (But not crafty. Your momma is not crafty. Almost criminally so really by most homeschooling standards. But I am only human, with one or maybe two limitations. And glue guns and scissors and felt and pipe cleaners fall smack dab under that category. Unless letting you play with play-dough is crafty, because then holy-moly, I am the master.)
Anyway, I digress. Off we go.
Sometime between 1-4am: Eliza will wander into our room, pink "ti-ti" in hand, asking to come into our bed. We will tell her no and that she needs to go back to her own bed. She will put up a half-hearted, half-asleep fuss, and then begrudgingly wander her way back down.
Around 4-5am: Jones wakes up and wants a very early breakfast. Thankfully he still has some zzz's left in him at this hour and will go back to sleep for a short while.
7am: I hear the TV go on in the family room indicating Dana has woken up Eliza, or vice versa, and there has been a mad dash to gain control of the remote. Jones usually starts his morning commentary shortly thereafter, signaling it's time for me to start the day for the second time. I take the next twenty minutes or so to painstakingly and carefully turn myself into a domestic goddess. Or I take a five minute shower, throw on a sweatshirt and yoga pants, and check my emails. Whatev.
7:30am: Jones and I head downstairs to get Cora, who will be sitting patiently in her bed, "mouth titi" in her mouth, bedhead for miles, just waiting for me to scoop her up and take her upstairs to join the rest of civilization.
7:45am: Breakfast. Right now, Honey Nut Cheerios across the board. Every. Single. Day. Except for Tuesdays and Fridays, which are syrup-with-a-side-of-pancakes days.
8:15-8:45am: Brush teeth, do your chores (take care of Maude and Grace, kitchen clean-up, make beds) and get dressed (always in a fancy dress no matter how many times I point out how many cute non-dress items you have in your closet). While you do this I spend some quality time on the couch with Jones and his bottle and his chubby, chubby cheeks. Nuk nuk nuk. Love it.
8:45am: You three girls start playing like angels with each other, trying to trick me into delaying school for a few more minutes. I'm not going to lie, this totally works. And you know it.
9-11:30am: School. Devotions to start us off right, followed by Bible memory work, Language Arts, and math for Eliza. We then head up to the couch with an armful of books to read. These will cover history, geography, Bible, reading, and usually a few more just for fun and to reward Cora for only interrupting 10 times out of the possible 1,000. She's a good kid, that one.
11:30am: Jones gets his next bottle, and the rest of you enjoy some free time before lunch. You usually hang around me and on me and over me talking about whatever part of the school lesson you found interesting that morning, and I eat it up, knowing that someday soon being by my side all the live-long day is the last place you will want to be.
12pm: Lunch. Dana, you are on a hot dog or chips-n-cheese kick, Eliza - PB & J, and Cora - chicken nuggets. I admit, your lunch is not the healthiest right now, but I try to offset it with lots of fruits, no sugary snacks (most of the time), and a well-balanced dinner. Everyday I vow to do better in this area, and everyday I fail. Mom-guilt about this one all over the place...
1-2pm: Quiet Time. This is where I send you downstairs so I can have a few moments to myself to refresh and regroup. And this is where you girls take out every toy you've ever owned and redistribute them in every room except the one they're supposed to be in. Jones, you do your best to buck the system during this hour by refusing to nap. (Note to self: should probably rename Quiet Time.)
2-3:30pm: Everyone back upstairs for Round Two. A healthy dose of science for all (the accompanying web videos of mud skippers and killer whales and koala bears turning this subject into an easy favorite), and then math for Dana while Eliza and Cora sniff out any toys still remaining where they belong and find new homes for them. Meanwhile, for Jones it's "bottle/try-to-keep-momma-from-nuzzling-me-while-I-eat" time.
3:30-4pm: TV/computer for you, while I scramble around banging cupboards trying to think of something to make for dinner which will be nutritiously amazing, leave you begging for more, and will only take four minutes to prepare. Will probably be spaghetti. Again.
4-5:30pm: Play time (a.k.a. the witching hour). Normally, if we haven't had any other "out of home" activities during the day, this is where you tend to turn on each other. You: alternating between whining, fighting, and asking me what you can do now. Me: finding an excuse to be in any other room beside the one where said whining/fighting/pestering is taking place and calling your father to find out when in the world he's coming home. It's either that scenario, or you all put on your ballerina dresses and start dancing for the next hour or so. Seriously, it's one or the other. No joke.
5:30pm: Daddy comes home(!), rustles you all up for some hugs and kisses, and we sit down to eat whatever it is I managed to scrape together in my four minutes of preparation hoping whatever it is looks and tastes like I've slaved over a hot stove all day.
5:35pm: Daddy's not fooled, but loves me anyway.
6pm: Me and Jones have another snuggle-fest slash bottle-feeding on the couch, while you girls and Daddy clean up the kitchen. Pretty sure I get the better end of this deal on this one.
6:30-7:00pm: Somehow this has become the designated "Let Loose or Bust" portion of the day. Any energy you have left to expend comes out in any and every way imaginable. As long as it's loud and warrants tearing from one room to the next running over everyone in your wake, it's game. Even Maude takes cover. I usually dodge your child-shaped bullets, take Jones out of harm's way and let you do your thing. Did I mention this has to be done sans clothes? Because it does. Three barely clad little girls turning into monsters, sharks, T-Rex's and the like. A most highly entertaining and (hopefully) exhausting end to the evening.
7pm: Showers, snacks, brush teeth and hair, bathroom, and then back to the couch again for Daddy to read one more story apiece to round out the day and settle your bodies down for a good night's rest.
7:30pm: While you girls suction yourselves onto Daddy's arms and legs and shoulders for storytime, Jones gets a toasty warm bath, lounging in that tub like it's nobody's business (after having to have it refilled three times because he gets a little *ahem* too relaxed).
8pm: When stories are done, like the good little ducklings you are, you all follow Daddy down the stairs and break off into your respective bedrooms. He then takes turns listening to you pray, praying aloud for you, and saying the Aaronic blessing over you. Because that's just how awesome your Daddy is.
8:15pm: Daddy is now being held hostage by chit-chatty little girls regaling him with stories of the day and peppering him with questions about anything they may have missed in his own. He is endlessly patient. Most of the time.
8:15pm: Upstairs, Jones is snuggled up cozy in his footie pajama's, not-so-subtly demanding his last bottle of the day. I oblige, possibly getting too much enjoyment out of his scrunched-up, pitiful little face. It's the bane of his existence, being that adorable and irresistible.
8:30pm: Daddy resurfaces just in time to put Jones to bed while I attempt to put the living area back into some semblance of order so I don't get hives when I reenter in the morning.
8:45pm: Eliza makes an appearance, asking for the umpteenth time what we are going to do tomorrow. We tell her, again, that we'll talk about it in the morning. She tells us, again, that she needs one more hug and kiss. We hug and kiss her, again, and she slooooowly trudges back down, stealing every second she can out of the remainder of the night.
9:00pm: Dana pops by, needing yet another book to read. Being the lover of words that I am, she knows this request will always be granted and that she will be allowed to read until the sun comes up if that's what she so desires.
(You kids, you totally have my number.)
9:15pm: Not to be outdone, Jones wakes up crying out for just a couple more minutes of snuggles and huggles, and for a few more pats on the back to release the last of any pent up air in his tiny belly. The finish line is close, and he's ever-so-cute, so we oblige.
9:30pm: Mommy and Daddy meet once more in the family room, melt and mold ourselves into our familiar adjoining places on the couch, and proceed to zone out together in a most intimate and loving way to whatever mindless TV show we are presently working our way through finishing. (Right now it's old "Cheers" reruns. That Sam and Diane, they sure are something else. On again, off again, on again, off again, will they, won't they... hilarious! But again, I digress.) As we sit there, blissfully relishing in having nothing else to do, there is a sense of relief, a sense of camaraderie, and a sense of accomplishment that takes over when we know you children are snug in your beds, and our parental duties for the day are complete.
Dear ones, it's been said over and over again that the days are long, but the years are short. Truer words about parenthood have never been spoken. I look at the four of you and it seems like just yesterday, just an hour ago, a few minutes ago, a heartbeat ago that you were first placed in our arms and the eternity of your childhood stretched out before us. And your Daddy and I, we're just trying to squeeze every ounce of you out of every moment we have with you so we have something to cherish in the years when you are not ours to squeeze and squish and snuggle and smoosh any longer. So, someday when you are old enough to read this, I ask for your forgiveness and your grace for whatever mistakes we are bound to have made over these years. I'm sure there were many. But I hope in reading these words you can also see that you are treasured, you are priority, and you are loved. And those three things are incapable of change. (Unless, of course, you're still waking us up in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with us. Then we may need to talk.)
Snuggles and huggles and lots of love,
Momma
In an effort to preserve for posterity's sake a small picture of our family life, I thought I would record for you what an average day here in our home looks like. There are always variations on any given day by way of field trips, Friday School, play dates, outings with Grandpa, Bible Study, farming, errands to run, etc., and in trying my hardest to keep your best interests in mind and also take advantage of the flexibility that teaching you at home has to offer, I strive to be adaptable, and free-spirited, and even (dare I say) willy-nilly. (But not crafty. Your momma is not crafty. Almost criminally so really by most homeschooling standards. But I am only human, with one or maybe two limitations. And glue guns and scissors and felt and pipe cleaners fall smack dab under that category. Unless letting you play with play-dough is crafty, because then holy-moly, I am the master.)
Anyway, I digress. Off we go.
Sometime between 1-4am: Eliza will wander into our room, pink "ti-ti" in hand, asking to come into our bed. We will tell her no and that she needs to go back to her own bed. She will put up a half-hearted, half-asleep fuss, and then begrudgingly wander her way back down.
Around 4-5am: Jones wakes up and wants a very early breakfast. Thankfully he still has some zzz's left in him at this hour and will go back to sleep for a short while.
7am: I hear the TV go on in the family room indicating Dana has woken up Eliza, or vice versa, and there has been a mad dash to gain control of the remote. Jones usually starts his morning commentary shortly thereafter, signaling it's time for me to start the day for the second time. I take the next twenty minutes or so to painstakingly and carefully turn myself into a domestic goddess. Or I take a five minute shower, throw on a sweatshirt and yoga pants, and check my emails. Whatev.
7:30am: Jones and I head downstairs to get Cora, who will be sitting patiently in her bed, "mouth titi" in her mouth, bedhead for miles, just waiting for me to scoop her up and take her upstairs to join the rest of civilization.
7:45am: Breakfast. Right now, Honey Nut Cheerios across the board. Every. Single. Day. Except for Tuesdays and Fridays, which are syrup-with-a-side-of-pancakes days.
8:15-8:45am: Brush teeth, do your chores (take care of Maude and Grace, kitchen clean-up, make beds) and get dressed (always in a fancy dress no matter how many times I point out how many cute non-dress items you have in your closet). While you do this I spend some quality time on the couch with Jones and his bottle and his chubby, chubby cheeks. Nuk nuk nuk. Love it.
8:45am: You three girls start playing like angels with each other, trying to trick me into delaying school for a few more minutes. I'm not going to lie, this totally works. And you know it.
9-11:30am: School. Devotions to start us off right, followed by Bible memory work, Language Arts, and math for Eliza. We then head up to the couch with an armful of books to read. These will cover history, geography, Bible, reading, and usually a few more just for fun and to reward Cora for only interrupting 10 times out of the possible 1,000. She's a good kid, that one.
11:30am: Jones gets his next bottle, and the rest of you enjoy some free time before lunch. You usually hang around me and on me and over me talking about whatever part of the school lesson you found interesting that morning, and I eat it up, knowing that someday soon being by my side all the live-long day is the last place you will want to be.
12pm: Lunch. Dana, you are on a hot dog or chips-n-cheese kick, Eliza - PB & J, and Cora - chicken nuggets. I admit, your lunch is not the healthiest right now, but I try to offset it with lots of fruits, no sugary snacks (most of the time), and a well-balanced dinner. Everyday I vow to do better in this area, and everyday I fail. Mom-guilt about this one all over the place...
1-2pm: Quiet Time. This is where I send you downstairs so I can have a few moments to myself to refresh and regroup. And this is where you girls take out every toy you've ever owned and redistribute them in every room except the one they're supposed to be in. Jones, you do your best to buck the system during this hour by refusing to nap. (Note to self: should probably rename Quiet Time.)
2-3:30pm: Everyone back upstairs for Round Two. A healthy dose of science for all (the accompanying web videos of mud skippers and killer whales and koala bears turning this subject into an easy favorite), and then math for Dana while Eliza and Cora sniff out any toys still remaining where they belong and find new homes for them. Meanwhile, for Jones it's "bottle/try-to-keep-momma-from-nuzzling-me-while-I-eat" time.
3:30-4pm: TV/computer for you, while I scramble around banging cupboards trying to think of something to make for dinner which will be nutritiously amazing, leave you begging for more, and will only take four minutes to prepare. Will probably be spaghetti. Again.
4-5:30pm: Play time (a.k.a. the witching hour). Normally, if we haven't had any other "out of home" activities during the day, this is where you tend to turn on each other. You: alternating between whining, fighting, and asking me what you can do now. Me: finding an excuse to be in any other room beside the one where said whining/fighting/pestering is taking place and calling your father to find out when in the world he's coming home. It's either that scenario, or you all put on your ballerina dresses and start dancing for the next hour or so. Seriously, it's one or the other. No joke.
5:30pm: Daddy comes home(!), rustles you all up for some hugs and kisses, and we sit down to eat whatever it is I managed to scrape together in my four minutes of preparation hoping whatever it is looks and tastes like I've slaved over a hot stove all day.
5:35pm: Daddy's not fooled, but loves me anyway.
6pm: Me and Jones have another snuggle-fest slash bottle-feeding on the couch, while you girls and Daddy clean up the kitchen. Pretty sure I get the better end of this deal on this one.
6:30-7:00pm: Somehow this has become the designated "Let Loose or Bust" portion of the day. Any energy you have left to expend comes out in any and every way imaginable. As long as it's loud and warrants tearing from one room to the next running over everyone in your wake, it's game. Even Maude takes cover. I usually dodge your child-shaped bullets, take Jones out of harm's way and let you do your thing. Did I mention this has to be done sans clothes? Because it does. Three barely clad little girls turning into monsters, sharks, T-Rex's and the like. A most highly entertaining and (hopefully) exhausting end to the evening.
7pm: Showers, snacks, brush teeth and hair, bathroom, and then back to the couch again for Daddy to read one more story apiece to round out the day and settle your bodies down for a good night's rest.
7:30pm: While you girls suction yourselves onto Daddy's arms and legs and shoulders for storytime, Jones gets a toasty warm bath, lounging in that tub like it's nobody's business (after having to have it refilled three times because he gets a little *ahem* too relaxed).
8pm: When stories are done, like the good little ducklings you are, you all follow Daddy down the stairs and break off into your respective bedrooms. He then takes turns listening to you pray, praying aloud for you, and saying the Aaronic blessing over you. Because that's just how awesome your Daddy is.
8:15pm: Daddy is now being held hostage by chit-chatty little girls regaling him with stories of the day and peppering him with questions about anything they may have missed in his own. He is endlessly patient. Most of the time.
8:15pm: Upstairs, Jones is snuggled up cozy in his footie pajama's, not-so-subtly demanding his last bottle of the day. I oblige, possibly getting too much enjoyment out of his scrunched-up, pitiful little face. It's the bane of his existence, being that adorable and irresistible.
8:30pm: Daddy resurfaces just in time to put Jones to bed while I attempt to put the living area back into some semblance of order so I don't get hives when I reenter in the morning.
8:45pm: Eliza makes an appearance, asking for the umpteenth time what we are going to do tomorrow. We tell her, again, that we'll talk about it in the morning. She tells us, again, that she needs one more hug and kiss. We hug and kiss her, again, and she slooooowly trudges back down, stealing every second she can out of the remainder of the night.
9:00pm: Dana pops by, needing yet another book to read. Being the lover of words that I am, she knows this request will always be granted and that she will be allowed to read until the sun comes up if that's what she so desires.
(You kids, you totally have my number.)
9:15pm: Not to be outdone, Jones wakes up crying out for just a couple more minutes of snuggles and huggles, and for a few more pats on the back to release the last of any pent up air in his tiny belly. The finish line is close, and he's ever-so-cute, so we oblige.
9:30pm: Mommy and Daddy meet once more in the family room, melt and mold ourselves into our familiar adjoining places on the couch, and proceed to zone out together in a most intimate and loving way to whatever mindless TV show we are presently working our way through finishing. (Right now it's old "Cheers" reruns. That Sam and Diane, they sure are something else. On again, off again, on again, off again, will they, won't they... hilarious! But again, I digress.) As we sit there, blissfully relishing in having nothing else to do, there is a sense of relief, a sense of camaraderie, and a sense of accomplishment that takes over when we know you children are snug in your beds, and our parental duties for the day are complete.
Dear ones, it's been said over and over again that the days are long, but the years are short. Truer words about parenthood have never been spoken. I look at the four of you and it seems like just yesterday, just an hour ago, a few minutes ago, a heartbeat ago that you were first placed in our arms and the eternity of your childhood stretched out before us. And your Daddy and I, we're just trying to squeeze every ounce of you out of every moment we have with you so we have something to cherish in the years when you are not ours to squeeze and squish and snuggle and smoosh any longer. So, someday when you are old enough to read this, I ask for your forgiveness and your grace for whatever mistakes we are bound to have made over these years. I'm sure there were many. But I hope in reading these words you can also see that you are treasured, you are priority, and you are loved. And those three things are incapable of change. (Unless, of course, you're still waking us up in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with us. Then we may need to talk.)
Snuggles and huggles and lots of love,
Momma
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Breathe You In
Dear Ones,
As I type this you are all playing in the nooks and crannies of this place we call home, all except for your baby brother, who is off in dreamland in the other room. I find myself counting the four of you, over and over again, making sure you are all safe and accounted for, even though there is no reason for me to believe otherwise. I'm not letting you out of my sight. At least not for today.
Today I am reminded of the fragility of our lives. Of your lives. How there is no guarantee that when I send you off into this world you will be able to find your way back home again to me when the day is done. My lips are drawn to the tops of your heads. My arms cannot be filled with your tiny bodies for long enough, or hold them tight enough. I find myself staring at you, wondering that you are here, wondering that you are mine, wondering how long I get to keep you close. I hold you next to my heart and I breathe your breath in as you breathe out, as if I can somehow keep all of us here if I just continue this cycle. Breathe you in, breathe you in, breathe you in... your breath filling up and energizing the cells in my body, promising me that no matter what happens you will always be a part of me in the most fundamental and essential way. Letting myself believe that this act alone will be enough to keep all of us always alive, always intertwined.It is impossible today not to think about what my life would be like without you in it. Not to think about if I were to wake up and you were not a part of my tomorrow, or my next Christmas, or my ten years from now.
Today your Momma's heart is so heavy for little lives lost, lives so reminiscent of your own. I am burdened with visions of the mothers and fathers and brothers and sisters these children left behind, and for their future that must seem so empty and full of despair. Hope seems distant, peace not possible. Fear is everywhere, and threatening to eclipse any small pocket of innocence that has managed to survive yesterdays events.
But then (but then!), my loves, smack dab in the middle of my pain, I remember Him. I remember my Jesus. Your Jesus. I see His face. And in His compassion for this troubled heart He allows your Momma a glimpse of His almighty and total power. His power over death, His victory over these graves. And just that one small glimpse is all it takes to remind me of the awesome God we serve. This God who is not only ruler over heaven and earth but also this God who is love, who is gentleness, who is life, who is the opposite of everything the world gave us yesterday and wants us to believe is the most of what we have left. And this God, our Jesus, fills me with the assurance that He is here. He walks this pain with us. And in that assurance there is peace that when I am afraid, and when I lose hope, and when I feel I can't take this broken world for even one minute more He has never lost sight of me but is close, so close, so close I can breathe Him in, breathe Him in, breathe Him in... His breath filling me up with everything that is pure, and sacred, and true.
So tonight, when I tuck you into your beds, there is bound to be great sadness as I think of other mommas who are longing for just one more night to do the same. And I will pray over you and pray for you and pray with you, and just pray and pray and pray. I will pray that I get to keep you here with me for so much longer. I will pray that you will learn to look up and find your Jesus when this world fails you. I will pray for protection over you in both body and soul. And along with all those prayers I will also pray thankful. Thankful that no matter what happens, even if the worst would find us, I am guaranteed life with you for always and forever because of the One who made you, and who made me, and who gave His own life so that no death need ever be the end. And then while you sleep peaceful I will breathe you in again, resting in the promise that you are here, you are mine, and we are His, alive and intertwined for always in both this life and the next.
Sleep tight, dear ones. Angels over you tonight.
Love,
Momma
Eliza, Kindergarten.
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